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On the Wings of a Butterfly

Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D.

It is has been said that the movement of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world can contribute to the formation of a hurricane in another part of the world. How can this be? How can what I do where I live affect thousands of others in another part of the planet?

If this is so, then my responsibility for my actions increases exponentially. It means what I do an as an individual affects others whether I realize it or not. What if I wake up one day and understand that I do have a connection to all my sisters and brothers on this planet, that we are all One. That what I choose to think and the actions I take affect not only me and those around me, but the world….people and places with faces I have never seen.

If this possibility exists, then I need to choose my thoughts and actions carefully. I am sending gifts to unknown recipients. I want those gifts to be a source of help to all. I want the beating of my butterfly wings to bring thoughts of love, not fear, laughter not frowns, acceptance not intolerance, connection not division.

Sometimes there is a war inside of me. It grows less as I grow spiritually. But occasionally it still wages its violence and takes its toll on me. It is my challenge to release fear and know that the energy of love and compassion is all there truly is. I make up the fear; it doesn’t really exist. The battlefield of my mind connects with my body and sometimes I feel tired and drained. And then love finds an opening and sneaks onto the field turning the minefields into flowers and stopping the bullets in their path, dissolving them into light.

I will transform this conflict within me step by step by recognizing that love is my choice, not fear. And as I do this, my light will shine more brightly and my heart will emanate a beautiful energy to all around. As the energy spreads and joins with others of like mind on the planet, the inner peace quiets the outer conflict, washing over it in waves until the fear looks at the gun in its hand and says, no more.

It doesn’t matter the problem, I want to send a vibration of my wings over the airwaves to work with others to brighten the light for us all. I want my choices to foster multiplication not division. I want my butterfly wings to embrace with love, not beat the flames of fear.

My butterfly wings are your butterfly wings. There is no you or I. We are all the same wing, each beating in synchronicity, resonating with love and kindness because that is the essence of who we truly are. That is our choice in every moment. The beautiful butterfly is each and every one of us. When we move our wings as one, we can create a hurricane of light, filled with healing and compassion for us all.

Copyright 2008 Andrea Avari.

Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D. is an intuitive spiritual coach working with clients to balance and integrate wellness, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. She is the author of A Hit of Heaven: a soul’s journey through illusion. Andrea and her husband are writing their new book, Letters from 2 Lunatics in Love: creating soulful relationships which will be available at the end of the year.

Website: www.andreaavari.com Email: andrea@andreaavari.com.

The Mysterious Gift of Illness

Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D. 

Much has been written on the subject of illness as a pathway to finding a deeper spirituality but I have chosen not to read most of it.  I prefer to think of myself as healthy and not needing to explore that area of growth but the universe had something else in store for me. 

One day I was fine, the next minute my brain was reeling and my eyes were seeing chopped-up versions of Picasso-like paintings revolving in front of me.  Nothing had hit me in the head, I didn’t fall down.  All I did was turn my head from one side of the pillow to the other side to look out the window to see if the sun was shining.   I tried to shut my eyes and grab my head but neither idea served any benefit.  Shaking and sweating profusely, I didn’t purposefully move a muscle anywhere in my body as the visualizations slowly settled down.  It took about an hour.  I decided to get up as though leaving the scene of the crime would be helpful to me.  Another attack hit my brain with the same intensity.  I kept my eyes open this time for a sense of grounding but I was helplessly spun with forces beyond my control as though on a carnival ride.  

With what remained of my left brain, I tried to figure out what had happened.  I couldn’t  think very well in a logical way; a brain fog had settled in very deeply into the rational side of my brain.  In the next few days I could see that my speech was creative in that in my mind I knew what I wanted to say but my brain took one syllable from each word and threw them into a blender.  The result was an abbreviated word that represented a full sentence.  It actually seemed quite efficient and thrifty and although some listeners could decipher my meaning, I had to learn to speak more slowly.  

At first I could only walk holding onto the walls nearby; slowly I found more balance and walked shakily to my destinations.  The accompanying nausea was deep and long-lasting.  I couldn’t turn my head at all and even moving my eyes upset my equilibrium.  I didn’t want to draw attention to myself more than necessary so I learned, as so many people with disabilities learn, to hide the more obvious signs of my distress. 

The doctors couldn’t figure it out.  My brain and body flunked the balancing tests they gave to me but the MRI showed no damage.  Fuzzily, I couldn’t figure out if that was a good thing or not.   Finally it was decided that a virus had attacked a portion of my brain stem.  And there was no cure.  The prognosis was unknown; time would tell the possibility of moving from one plateau to another or not. 

Since I had been working a spiritual path for a number of years, one of my first thoughts was to ask the universe why they had taken my left brain to such a degree.  There seemed to be no answer.  And then one day I looked out the window and I saw the trees, the mountains, the glaciers, and the people walking down the street all shift into one energy.  I remember calling it “Godland.”  Tears fell down my cheeks as I felt an incredible feeling of peace settle in and all around me.  My heart felt like it would burst with an electric kind of love.  

As I returned to my job working with people, I noticed that although my short term memory was indeed short, necessitating taking copious notes, I was able to visualize what they were describing about themselves.  I started finishing their sentences and seemed to know and feel what they were about to say.  I frequently found myself apologizing to people for interrupting them.   They responded by asking me how I knew what they were thinking.  Embarrassed, I mumbled something and went on with my questions.  

Over time I became less embarrassed and more appreciative for the gift of insight that seemed to be with me in a much greater degree than I had experienced before.  Whenever  I encounter a lesson from the Universe that appears in my life, I attempt to make the intention to open myself to the experience.  I am not always successful but I know in my heart that there is no right or wrong, good or bad experience; it all just is.  I like to think that all experience is for my growth, to increase my awareness and to open my heart to remembering who I really am.  If I release the judgment that might arise within my mind, I can be open to the gifts of the lessons.  

I will never know all of the gifts of this particular lesson because of my viewpoint as a human on earth.  It is a mystery and I can accept that.  I can see some gifts from this brain virus to me.  I am more aware and more trusting of operating from my intuition that I ever had been before.  I take better care of my body by healthy eating and getting more exercise.  I have a much deeper sense of empathy for people who encounter brain injuries and other disabilities.   

I have less judgment and more compassion for myself.  Now I see how important balance is in my life. Before the illness I would have been able to talk my talk but now I am walking it more.   I am living a much more aware life of taking care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually every day.  I guess you could say that I don’t take myself for granted as much as I did before this virus came to visit my brain.  And now I know “Godland.”  And I am grateful. 

Copyright 2009.  Andrea is the author of A Hit of Heaven: a soul's journey through illusion.  She and her husband are currently writing a book on relationships together.  

 

 

 

 

  

Everyone as Self

By Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D. 

I have had a lesson lately.  It wasn’t an easy one.   I knew that I drew this lesson to me to learn something.  I didn’t really want to learn the lesson but the lesson just kept on knocking on my door.  I picture this door as the door of my soul.  My soul wanted me to grow.  Sometimes I just don’t want to grow but my experiences tell me it is true that whatever I resist does persist. 

The short story is that I felt someone had not been honest with me about a business contract.  It wasn’t just a feeling; it was a verifiable fact.  It was difficult for me to understand why I would draw this to me. Hey, I am a good person.  I am doing my work.  Why should I have to experience this trauma?  Yes, there are times when the ‘victim mentality’ in me just wants to have the stage all to herself. 

On the other hand, I have been studying the concept of compassion more deeply than ever before.  I was struck by Karen Armstrong’s work with compassion.  Karen won the TED $100k prize this year and was able to have one wish granted.  Her wish was to work with others to create a Code of Compassion, just two pages of how compassion can really work in the world.  Armstrong said that compassion means having an understanding with another person…..really understanding, getting your ego out of the way.  It means treating other people as you would want to be treated.  

So I thought I would use that awareness to work with this breach of contract.  I have parts of me that are fragments that are separated from the wholeness that is my soul.  For example, when I think I am not good enough in some situation and I stay in that judgment of myself, the part of me that is judged is fragmented off in pain and separation.  If I want to be free of pain and move into wholeness, it is my responsibility to nurture that wounded part of me with compassion and hold it continuously as a mother holds a fearful child.  It is similar to shining the light into the darkness.  The area is illuminated and the energy is transformed.  

So my wounded parts become integrated one after another, slowly over time.  If I look at the billions of people on this planet I realize that each is a reflection of some facet of me.  The ones that flow seamlessly through my life represent the qualities which I have that are healed.  The people who come jumping up and down into my life with qualities that upset me are simply doing the same thing: reflecting qualities I have in my own personality.  

That is the challenging part; I don’t really like to admit that.  But if I am to grow in my life emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (and if I don’t, it can affect my physical life as well), I can open up to embrace that part of me without judgment.  Using only compassion, I embrace that part with love…with no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  When I embrace that quality in me, I can embrace that same quality in others and vice versa.  

That means I see everyone as self.  Everyone is a mirror of me.  I want to treat them as I would want to be treated….with respect for being a human being with a spark of the Divine within them…...just like me. 

When I am ready to talk or write to that person who breached the contract, I have done my work of holding the emotion in compassion and just sitting with it as the energy transforms.  Sometimes journaling or talking with friends can help prepare me for that holding and nurturing of my emotion.  

And then my understanding can be real.  Is there a way that I can put myself in that person’s shoes and imagine to any degree how they came to choose the action that they did?  If I sit or walk with that idea for a while, most likely a feeling of some understanding washes over me.  And then I ask myself…..how do I sometimes breach contracts, large and small?  Perhaps they are contracts with myself that I rationalize and then move in a different direction contrary to my goals.  When was the last time that I broke a contract, didn’t tell the exact truth, stretched my imagination to justify my actions?  Hmmmmmmmmmm.  

Can I hold that part of me in compassion and forgive it and love it with the fullness of my heart?  And then can I treat the other person with that same feeling.  It doesn’t mean that I do not stand up for myself.  It doesn’t mean that I just forget it.  It also doesn’t mean that I simmer in resentment for a while.  It means that I treat them as I do myself in a healing mode, with respect and understanding while I state my needs and actions to be taken.  It means that how I treat you is how I treat myself because we are one and the same. 

As I heal myself so I create more light in the world.  As each person chooses to heal, each human being illuminates radiating light on those around them.    Eventually, we are all illuminating loving energy, treating ourselves and each other as we all want to be treated.  And all it takes is courage to be compassionate. That means I have to take the time to not react from my head but to allow the space for my heart to expand and link with my mind.   Old times would say that I used to speak with a biting tongue.  I learned it well from a great teacher in my childhood.  But I am not that biting tongue in my inner Self.  I can choose another way.  Now I can write my letter in a way that expresses my limits in a way that is respectful of the other person’s boundaries as well.  And the stress that would normally weigh me down……..evaporates. 

Copyright 2009.  www.andreaavari.com  

The Clock Strikes NOW

By Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D. 

Much time and effort can be spent trying to be the NOW.   Being present might be defined as having your complete awareness in a particular moment so that the moment itself is absent.  The idea of being present sounds so easy; however, there are many of us that are experiencing a degree of frustration at hearing so often about being present and feeling that so many times we are not. 

 

What if we are seeking after the effect and not the cause?  What if we are trying so hard to create the effect of the NOW and there is no need to try?  There is no need to seek.  Being in the NOW is simply the effect of living in our highest consciousness.  Well, that is great but how does one do that?  It is like learning to love yourself.  There are many books written about it but rarely does a deeper understanding comes through to the reader. 

 

What we are desiring in our lives is to open the flow of energy.  This vibrational flow is between the personality and our higher consciousness.  Resistance to the flow comes from our unresolved relationships.  If we look deeply enough at any disturbing occurrence in our lives such as a feeling of lack of abundance in any area, it will reflect to us a blockage in a relationship with ourselves.  But we will notice it most clearly in our relationships with others, particularly those with whom we have an emotional charge.

 

We can try to be present in the NOW all we want.  But until we resolve the blockages in our relationships, we are lusting after an effect of something we haven’t realized in our lives.  That effect is the greater awareness of who we truly are at our essence, the process of self-realization.  The physical effects of misusing our emotional, mental and spiritual energies cause imbalances in our bodies and minds, restricting the flow of energy between the personality and the higher consciousness.  We keep putting forth effort to be in the NOW but we will continually fall out into our humanity consciousness until we learn to resolve the blockages in our relationships.  Then we can move out of our habitual focus on the limited sense of our humanity and create the space to live in the infinite qualities of our higher consciousness.

 

How do we learn to live more often in our higher consciousness?  As we resolve the "stuckness" of our relationships, we are able to spend more of our time focusing on the "I" that is the Unified Field of Consciousness.  We are each a droplet of that connected consciousness.  The "I AM", or whatever words work for you, expands when we build our focus on it.  Breathing deeply into that energy that we know so deeply in our hearts in times of silence, expands the higher vibrations.  We can feel it deepening into every cell of ourselves.  Our focus on humanity lessens and finds its proper alignment as the space of higher consciousness expands within us.  When we think we are losing connection (we are always in connection because That is who we are but we tend to think it anyway when fear appears in our minds) we return to our breathing.

 

To live in the NOW, we are being called to explore our stuck places that hold degrees of fearful thoughts.  The global depression we are experiencing in our collective consciousness calls each one of us in a particular way to have the courage to open up our flows.  As we free ourselves of the restrictions, our personality or egos align with our higher consciousness and we realize and remember who we truly are.  The fog clears and the clock strikes the ever present NOW.  There is nothing to seek; we already are that which we have been seeking and that is love. 

 

 

Check out Andrea’s new website at www.andreaavari.com where she is offering new teleclasses on Strengthening Mindfulness.  Andrea is the author of "A Hit of Heaven: a soul's journey through illusion."   

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Wholeness of Light and Dark

By Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D. 

After reading an inspiring article about Peter Kater in Science of Mind magazine by Claudia Abbott, I wanted to share some of his thoughts on creativity. Peter has been nominated for 5 Grammy Awards, written musical scores for a number of documentaries, and his Healing Series of music used in the healing and therapeutic arts.  

No stranger to life’s ups and downs, Peter Kater was raised by a single mother who died when he was just eighteen creating an early life of poverty and hunger.  Being aware of the interplay of the light and dark in our creative lives, Kater states “….so often we are light chasers, so concerned with creating our lives and moving into light, that we often overlook the importance of the dark.  What we don’t know and cannot see becomes disturbing.  But it is so obvious to biologists and physicists that the darkness is essential.  Light and dark can’t exist without each other.  We have to have both to create.  We have to learn how to integrate darkness and be curious about what is hidden inside.  When we imagine a world that works for everyone, we need to explore the pain and integrate it.  You cannot sustain a light, bright experience 24/7.   Darkness becomes dysfunctional only when it is denied.  Looking at our pain, understanding the shadow, integrates the darkness into wholeness.  We have to see the value of all life’s experiences.  We have emotions for a reason.”  

When I was teaching creative thinking at an art college, a few students would be concerned that if their depressive perspective on life were taken away, they would be unable to create.  These students were very protective of their anxiety and depression as an integral part of their art.  For some, the more positive aspects of life did not generate the depth of emotion that they wanted to touch in their process.  Remembering the wholeness of the experiences of our lives means we appreciate both the light and the dark.  I think Kater’s words might help bring a balance to the fear of those students who so embraced the dark. 

 

Andrea is a spiritual coach focusing on the process of awakening.  She will be offering Mindfulness Teleclasses through her website at andreaavari.com.  She is the author of A Hit of Heaven: a soul’s journey through illusion.  

Moving Toward Wholeness

By Jim Self Published Yesterday Mastering Alchemy with Jim Self Rating: 

 

Together we are becoming a unified consciousness within a global community.  The duality of opposites, black and white, East and West, right and wrong, us and them, good and bad, and male and female is changing.  The dividing lines are becoming less distinct.  We are moving from the third-dimensional experience of separation and extremes to a way of life that allows for many greater possibilities, connected communities and expanding ease and well-being.  We are in a shift.  We are remembering how to live in our fifth-dimensional consciousness while we walk in this third-dimensional world.

Not long ago western medicine was the only option for most of us.  Now complementary therapies such as Acupuncture, Shiatsu, Massage, and Reiki are part of the Mainstream.  Our social networks now include people across the globe.  Micro-credit and fair trade practices have given us relationships with people in Columbia who grow our coffee and others who weave our jackets in Africa.  There are many more avenues to effectively heal and reach physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.  The wisdom of the East is being blended with the knowledge of the West.  What was true yesterday is not necessarily true today.  Our wisdom and knowledge are transitioning into a new ‘Wholeness’.

There is a specific reason you are reading this right now.  You are contributing to this expanding ‘Shift of Consciousness’.  You have a purpose, or task, to accomplish that adds to All-That-Is.  You are a significant player in this unfolding game, and NOW is the time to step up and be the leader, mentor and healer that you came here to be.  

Another Tool for Change

One of the first steps toward fulfilling this purpose is to clear away the false beliefs that keep you from your task.  Many of these beliefs came from truths that were handed down to you by well-intentioned grownups along the way.  These truths never aligned with who you are and have kept you stuck in the third-dimensional game of limitation and mediocrity.

Freeing yourself from these limitations and returning passion to your life is simply a matter of building your awareness.  Ninety-six percent of making any change starts with self-observation, the simple act of becoming aware.  Start by noticing the situation you’re in.  Have a present-time curiosity and awareness of your habits, thoughts and actions.  Just notice them.  The next three percent of making that change is having the ability to laugh at what you discover about yourself.  No self-judgment, just amusement.  The final one percent toward succeeding on your path is to do something different, something very simple and easy.  That simple, one percent movement might be a smile, opening a door, complimenting a stranger, saying hello or otherwise contributing to the well-being of another.  Allow a new possibility, one that feels better, to become the next step on your path.  This starts a flow and invites the change you seek.  As you build a greater awareness, laugh at yourself and allow yourself to make very slight movements toward developing new habits.  The inner dualities and extremes will fall away.  From this new perspective you will begin to make new, clear, intentional choices and anchor the greater, wiser, higher part of your ‘Self' into your daily life.  Merging with the Soul; recognizing the answers to your questions.  You will be operating from a place of ease; and certainty, confidence, and grace will be yours.

A Shift is occurring.  It is grand movement toward a life of integrity, grace and well-being.  The transition between where we are and where we are going may be bumpy and challenging, but it is also very exciting.  Regardless of whether we embrace the changes or resist them, we are moving forward to a way of being that is closer to who we truly are.

      Jim Self is an international teacher, speaker and author. He has been a leader in the field of spiritual development for over 27 years. He offers us the Tools of Mastering Alchemy as a Way of Life.

This work is co-created with the Archangels, Ascended Masters and Teachers of Light. Free DVD and Free Tele-classes are available.

      Jim presents free local evening classes and a weekend seminar ‘Creating the Personal Power Field’ across North America. www.MasteringAlchemy.com (775) 851-8950.

Self-Acceptance and Compassion Using Diligence

From time to time on the spiritual path we find ourselves in a mud puddle of negative thoughts. This can be especially true when we are living in such challenging times. There is actually a gift in this mud puddle of ours if we choose to look more deeply into the murky waters.

Thich Nhat Hanh would call this diligence. In exercising diligence we are able to choose which seeds of thought we choose to water. For example, we might have a common human thought of impatience...perhaps at ourselves or others or both. We also have a seed of positivity and that would be tolerance and compassion for ourselves or others or both. We can choose to water either the impatience seed or the tolerance and compassion seed.

Of course, this decision making process means that we need to be aware of how we are feeling in the present moment. And that process requires that we have a practice of mindfulness. Being mindful and observing what thoughts are moving through us allows us to be the witness of our mind and to not to be pulled down into the mud puddle. 

We can instantly choose the peacefulness of compassion rather than spend time swimming in the mud. Or we can swim in the mud long enough that our aware is triggered and then we come back to the present moment again.......with a smile knowing that we received the gift of feeling impatient and we now choose another more positive thought to water.

My new website is almost ready. I will be offering Mindfulness Classes to those walking a spiritual path. andrea@andreaavari.com or www.andreaavari.com

Abundance

I don't know about you but "The Secret" didn't do it for me.  I found it to be lacking in the connection with my heart.  All the pictures of houses and cars and piles of money just focused on the objectification of money and did not help me to increase my vibration in connection with the Source. 

If you are looking for a program that helps you to focus your perception on the Infinite Presence within and recognizing that you are That, then perhaps it would be worth exploring the book and CD by John Randolph Price.  It is simply called "The Abundance Book."   (The book includes the CD).   He has a 40 day program of meditating on 10 beautiful passages about who we truly are. You repeat the 10 four times.  I am only on day 4 and it has made a profound change already in keeping my perspective in connection with Source.  

Let me know if it helps you.  Perhaps that is part of the gift in these challenging times....the opportunity to really change our thinking patterns.  

Four Sentences to Remember

Show up.

Be present.

Tell the truth without judgment and blame.

Don't attach to the outcome.

From Angeles Arrien's "Four Fold Way." 

Powerful sentences to be with in our practices.  Just breathe each one in and hold in your awareness and release with the out breath.   Beautiful.

The Art of Making Divine Compost of Your Life

Andrea Avari Stevens, Ph.D. 

In the wake of welcoming ourselves into the New Year of 2009 we cannot help but notice that a decaying process is taking place.  Under normal circumstances this process would seem in ecological balance to the rest of our lives.  Death and rebirth are but sides of the same coin.  Each is contained within the other.  But to those of us willing to pay attention to both our inner process and the outer reflected world, the energy seems to be flowing towards the disintegration of those patterns and structures in a way that challenges us not to grip our minds and hearts in fear. 

Normally we try to keep the compost pile out of sight over in a corner.  A beautiful process that is sometimes stinky and not pretty in its slimy disintegration is not something we place at center stage.  We appreciate the good work of the bacteria and fungi in breaking down the organic materials we supply to our pile, but we give them wide stance to do their important work.  

And now the decay is in our faces.  If we turn one way, there it is.  Twisting our head another way, there it is in another form.  Some days it seems as though it is coming from every direction.  We can feel overwhelmed by the rate and depth of decay.  Or we can embrace it.  Just as a compost pile needs to be turned over for aeration in order to encourage the process, so we need to aerate our compost pile of fear with love and gratitude.  

Perhaps we have lost money in the stock market, our home mortgage and/or our job is at risk, or we lost money moving into other currencies.  Financial institutions are failing and we don’t know where to put our money.  Ways of managing money in the past no longer make sense now.  Then we turn on the news and see and hear about people from all corners of the world suffering in some way.  A subtle kind of anxiety begins to surround us as we realize that the labor pains of this decay are deepening in preparation for rebirth.  

What can we do?  Remember who we really are. Know that we are Source.  It is not that we deserve abundance and creativity; we are that.  In our compost pile is the key to a new way of Being for us.  If we calm down and appreciate that what is not needed anymore is falling away from us, our strengths for new ways of creating become obvious.   When you hold the flower you also hold the compost or there would be no flower.  

Be gentle with yourself and others.  We are all the same energy of love at the core.  Have gratitude.  Give what it is that you want to get.  Move your energy by giving whether it be a smile or a dollar.  Recycle your own energy rather than constrict around the decay.  Be that which you would want to see evolve from the decay.  Be it now….Do not wait for other signs of love and peace to begin….this moment is waiting for you to choose.  Check in with yourself often.  Release any self-judgment by drawing it into your heart. 

Move your energy by breathing your composted energy in for transformation and exhale compassion and rebirth for yourself and all beings.  Step inward in meditation and extend your light of love to yourself and all others.  Step out physically and connect with others of like mind for support.  Love your compost.  Your unique flower is seeded within.  

Andrea's new website will be ready in the next few weeks.  She will be offering Coaching for the Awakening Spirit for those who would like support on their unique path of waking up.  There will be a free newsletter and messages from the soul as well as teleclasses and ebooks.  Her new book on creating soulful relationships will be published in 2009.  She is the author of "A Hit of Heaven: a soul's journey through illusion" which is available on Amazon.com.  

  

What is Love?

Timothy Freke, bestselling author and internationally respected authority on world spirituality, explains what Big Love is and describes how to experience the FEELING OF LOVE any time you want. 

What is love?

That is such a big question and so important. For me, my understanding of love is that love is how one must feel when we see through the veneer of separation that seems to divide us and connect with somebody (or with some thing or place or activity) as one with that person or thing. We experience this in our body - there's chemicals, there's good feelings, it's an embodied thing - and it comes from this recognition of oneness. 

I have a child, a little girl of 8 years old, and I love her to bits. Although she's separate from me and she has her own life and is a different person, and that's important, I also connect with her as one. So her joys are my joys, her suffering is my suffering, her dreams are my dreams... I love her. And that's what it's like for everyone that I feel that love with. So me for, love is how one must feel, and where it comes out - particularly with my work as a philosopher - is around a big sense of oneness one can have with life itself. You can come into a state where fundamentally you recognize that we are all one, we are all one with this moment and with the mystery of life itself. 

When you find yourself at one with All, you find yourself in love with All. Suddenly the teachings, that you'll find at the heart of every spiritual tradition from the beginning of time, around oneness and love, start to make sense. 

What the message is, is that if we can see who we really are, we can come into a state in which we are one with everything, and we find ourselves in love with everything. And then that expresses itself through our individual personalities in the way we live, because we live with love. Which means we feel connected with life, we feel embodied, we feel a love of what happens, but we also feel we want to be of service and ameliorate the suffering of life. Because love is much more than just a good feeling. Love is also suffering with others. 

In my own experience, this has made me want to step out and work with people who are dying, and to try and find areas where people are suffering and you can reach out and touch. So for me, love is oneness. "Oneness" on its own can sound dry - but it's not because when it's embodied, when it's a real realization, it comes with a feeling, and it's that feeling that makes it worthwhile. I call it Big Love. That's the word I use, because I love the word love so much. Big Love unites us with everyone and everything. And that completely changes the way that you live your life. 

How can we go about getting that feeling? Maybe some practices or some techniques?
Well, there's lots of things you can do to wake up to oneness and Big Love. One that is coming in through Love itself, is a technique that I use with people when we have our seminars, which is: 

Come into a stillness, come into a state with meditation, and focus on where you do feel that love quite easily. 
I mentioned my little girl, I could also mention my boy or my wife or my friends - people that when I focus on them, and I think about times that my love of them has been very obvious, I can focus in on those particular thoughts. And then the feelings start to arise from that and I can begin to recognize that feeling of love, that is so sweet and so powerful. I would go into Hell for this person because of that! That's how much I love them. 


That's a very powerful experience and as you focus in on it, you start to invoke it, as it were. And then having done that for a little while, once you start getting those feelings, then it become interesting to play... what if you try and expand that. Don't just stay where it's easy but start with somebody I have no feelings about. What about the postman, somebody like that. Someone I walk past in the street. A colleague at work I never speak to. Someone I'm completely different to because I don't have a relationship with them. Could it be that I can extend that feeling of love to embrace them also? I think it's possible. 
If you look at a person, here's a human being, they are full of joy and suffering just like me, they've got a journey just like me, and they are essentially the same mysterious being, their essence is also our one shared essence. If I connect through that, I can start allowing that sense of love to arrive. Now, it's a different sort of love because it's not personal, I don't know them as a person, it's a kind of impersonal compassion, but it's love nevertheless, and it's powerful and very beautiful. 


Now if you allow that to arise for a little while you can ask: what happens if we take this another step? What happens if we try something much more difficult which is to say, could I embrace with that impersonal compassion, that Big Love, somebody that I really find quite difficult, or even someone that I've exiled from my heart, somebody who's hurt me or I've fallen out with? This is a difficult part of the practice but very rewarding - to look at what's holding me separate from this person, really. And I can see that everyone has their side of the story, this person has had an experience of life which has lead them to behave in ways which I may find offensive or difficult. But you can reach back into the person - to the little child that's inside everyone, who could be innocent, who's gone on this life journey and ended up in this mess, perhaps. 
I don't have to approve of them and what they've done or any of that, I just need to connect through everything which is in-between us, in love. And then you can love your enemies, as is said in the Christian tradition. Which is an incredible thing to say, a beautiful thing to say, "Love others as yourself," even to your enemies, because we're all one Self. That's the Oneness. So you can see through it now. 


So you play with that for a while, then finally (and this one is often even more difficult for people) do the same with yourself. What happens if I include myself in that big, spacious unconditional love? OK, there's a whole load of things about myself that I find really difficult, that I don't like and give myself a hard time about, but to reach deep within myself to that innocent child inside, to the essence of a pure being, and say there it is. Connect as one with it and hold "myself," just as I am, in a warm embrace... in that feeling of Love. 
That simple, four-part exercise, starting with something you find easy, then something which is a stranger, then someone who may be exiled from your heart, and then yourself. I find that a very powerful way to open from the love that we find easy to this Big Love. 
Actually each step is like a relief. Anything which you're pushing away, anything that you can't love - the barrier breaks down. And let me make it clear here, I don't mean like - liking and disliking is a different thing altogether - but love, in the sense that I mean the word, which is that which embraces everything just as it is. It's just unconditionally embracing things, because they are, or because a person is. 

The Greek philosopher Socrates said it way, way back. He said you come through personal love, through individual instances of love, until you expand and expand, and eventually you come to Love itself. And I think that is one way of describing the spiritual journey of awakening. 

Is that something you can do every day?
You can do it any time you like! I'm a great believer in integrating these things into your real life. So it's not something you necessarily have to make a practice of, although you can and I have done that, but it's something that if it's part of you, when you need it there it is. And the more you do it the easier it gets. But the key to all of this is that you're constantly moving beyond your separate identity to this deeper Self. 

I had my first awakening experience when I was 12 years old, and I'm now nearly fifty. During that time, my understanding of spirituality and awakening has changed completely - but the one thing that has stayed the same is that I know it's all about Love. That to me is the center. 

If the love isn't there, it's not right. When love's there it will be. It's as simple as that. It's the most important thing and it's the thing that everyone can get. Old and young... yeah, it's love. There's a lovely line in John Lennon's song Mind Games, "Love is the answer and you know that for sure." It's so audacious to say to people, "you know it for sure," but there's something in me that says, yes we do know that for sure. Actually it's the one thing we know. If we are connected to ourselves, then the one thing we know for sure is that this journey is about love. So how we can move into that, is such an important question. 

"Love is the answer," is an old message, it's been there since the beginning of time - people have been saying it, "Love is the answer, love is the answer," and it is, but also though, love is the problem, in a sense. It's important to get that too because so many of the terrible things we do to each other, in our everyday lives and around the world on a global scale, we do because of love. We love our family and want to defend our family and so we're willing to hurt somebody else's. We love our tribe so we're willing to hurt somebody else's. We love our religion so we're willing to hurt somebody else's. 

A love which binds us to separateness can actually limit love. There's something about love that must keep expanding and have no limits, because when it becomes caught in separateness it can actually become it's opposite and it starts to be destructive. There's so many examples but one which pops into my mind right now is the gentleman who was in a wheelchair, Amas in Palestine. He was loved by the people of Palestine and the Israelis bombed him and killed him. He was loved because he set up schools, he cared for the homeless, he cared for the disadvantaged, he loved his people and gave his life selflessly to serve his people. But he also killed Israeli babies and was able to do that because of how much he loved his people. 

That's the contradiction we get stuck in with love: when we limit it there are problems. The love of self, when limited, is selfishness. It all comes down to the question, is our love limited, or is our sense of who we are so expansive and so open that we can love everything and everyone, even with our enemies? Then, Love is the answer. 

So I'd say, Big Love is the answer because it frees us from a limiting, self-orientated attachment that could actually stand in the way of what Love truly is. 



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Holding the Light in Times Like These

Andrea Lee Avari, Ph.D.

“The times they are a’changin”, words by Bob Dylan seem as apropos today as they did years ago. But back then we were under the impression that all that was happening was outside of ourselves. There was a sense of “us” and “them” whether it was the Vietnam War, drugs, feminism, or living the hippie lifestyle. We knew ourselves by the length of our hair. And we knew who to blame for our discontent.

In present time as we are growing our spiritual perspectives every day, we can see that all changes really occur within ourselves. The duality of “us” and “them” was and is an illusion. The global crisis is a reflection of our own inner natures. Self-responsibility asks us to observe how we know our power. How do we see money as a tool of power? How do we see ourselves as the locus of abundance? Do we still see ourselves as undeserving of abundance in some degree? Or do we see that as we are Divine in nature, so are we abundance itself?

Or do we react in fear using only our linear mind to try to figure out how to protect our money. Do we feel victimized by the “crisis situation”? Do we feel as though something has been done to us? Do we look to blame others for our fears? Do we think that our safety lies outside of ourselves? It is important to remember that our power lies in our remembrance of our connection to our soul and therefore, to spirit. Power lies not in the paper money, the gold, the stocks and bonds, the bank but within our own beings. External power is a reflection of that internal process. If we don’t like what we see, we must look within ourselves.

We can know that we are safe by simply remembering who we really are. Zoom our perception out of the small picture of our egoic self ,“I”, that part which is worried about what to do about our money. Breathing the relaxed breath and focusing on our higher selves we begin to feel the loving energy of our soul. As this energy moves through us, we calm into a more peaceful state. In this vibration, we are much more able to access our intuition. This connection assists us in feeling what might be appropriate action to take in any situation, if any, resonates with us, giving us guidance.

Now is a time of the crumbling of the old structures of organization. Many of these structures were built upon unbalanced power, a dominating, patriarchal force that did not seek equanimity for the highest good of all. Because of the continuing influx of light upon the planet, the shadow of lower vibrations is losing strength. Death comes before rebirth and so the new structures are not yet formed. This process can lead to anxiety.

We are learning to trust ourselves in a deeper manner. We come bare and naked to the place of non-attachment and surrender ourselves to that which is. We have become comfortable and habitual around our way of living. We are being asked now to release old ways of being which can confuse us into fear.

As banks close or merge, corporations decline, our accounts diminish for one reason or another, our jobs may be at risk, retirement dreams are imploding, the stress of all the challenges can wreak havoc on our relationships. If we are stripped of all our assets, do we believe, in our hearts, that we will be still be safe? Security is self-love. It is not a fully packed IRA. A new learning for us is to know that we are co-creators of our lives. We are in school to remember to release any degree of thinking that money is power and security.

So what can we do? We can learn to be more present in our Now moments and use all of our senses to see, feel, smell, taste, hear the joy that is within and without us. You might have thought it would be a more grand solution but everyday joy lifts our spirits, connects with our souls, and lights up our smiles. Everyday experiences of joy zooms us out into the big picture of who we truly are. We remember why we are here on this grand experiment called life. It is to love and to live in joy.

Our perspective is our own choice: the furry caterpillar that is crawling across the road and rides to safety on our finger to find his/her fate among the grasses on the other side of the chosen path; the rainbow on the far off island that seems miles wide in its brilliant colors, shining all the way into the water at the edge of the shore. Have you seen the starlight reflecting on the still ocean at night? A beautiful shelf of mushrooms is growing vertically out of the moss on a side of a tree in the driveway. I can feel their peacefulness in doing what they were born to do. We can all have that peace.

But the ego says, how can I find joy in these things when I am worried about my house, my bank accounts, my job, my health insurance and all the other things that are swimming through my head? I need to not waste my time on silly caterpillars and it is important that I figure out what to do. The empty space of soul asks us to surround these worries with welcome. If we do not repress them, we can allow them to be as they are.

With an attitude of lovingkindness practice, we will find that the intensity of their demand for our attention diminishes. In that quiet growing peacefulness, we experience what we can learn from this “terrible” worry. Instead of misery, we can find a calmness in our hearts. In that calmness we accept what is.

We are not in control of all that is. We can be responsible for our state of consciousness. From that acceptance we can feel our perceptions shift into that place of knowing that we will be taken care of, we are safe, and we can find our way out of anything. Focus on the Divine within us and let it expand.

The Universe inside us will show itself to us through our own intuition and decision-making. Perhaps guidance speaks to us through a passage in a book or another person interacting with us. Something new will happen because we have loosened the reins on rigidity of things having to be a certain way. The Universal Energy of divine vibration is now free to create something new for us. The Universe wraps our gifts in surprising packages and perfect timing. What might it be?

Is the Practice of Positive Thinking a Distraction from Soul Work?

Andrea Lee Avari, Ph.D.


The soul is a vastly beautiful energy that surrounds and permeates our body, mind, and heart. It is the droplet of Universal Spirit that is uniquely each of us as each individual human being exists. If you were reading the story of it all, you couldn’t put the book down. And what an incredible story it is…….just look down at the complexity of one of your hands. Unbelievably amazing! Think of your eyes, your liver, your brain……..how it all works in a flow of atomic synchronicity.

Taking it all for granted is the poison of its demise. The soul wants to shake us up and help us to remember that we really don’t know how we got here; we don’t know what we are doing here, or at the end, where we are going. There is a grand mystery operating in our lives if we want to pay attention and not keep falling asleep.

We want to be happy. We don’t want to feel negativity. And so we learn to focus on positive thoughts. We set our intentions and then sit back. We think we know “The Secret.” The soul, however, is waiting for us to experience all of life. Whatever experience it takes to awaken us to greater consciousness is grist for the soul’s mill. If we are only willing to mine the positive experiences and feelings, we have struck shallow dirt.

We are missing out on soul growth. The soul says, “come on, feel the full experience of living. What are you being asked to learn in each and every experience?” Negativity as such is just basic fear which is the absence of light. If we allow it to be in compassion, follow its course, then it transforms itself into a higher vibration of love.

If we are only willing to focus on the positive and turn our heads from negativity, then we run the risk of not exploring our soul work. Soul work means that we are clearing the fears that block us from living in our higher truth which is love, acceptance and compassion. It is the inner work that moves us into the empowered position for the process of co-creation. We have to “be” that which we desire and intend. Just uttering positive words with feeling will not create manifestation. Co-creation evolves from the deep translucence of our….. “being” not our doing.

In order to avoid stress related to the global economic situation, some people prefer not to think or talk about the distress. They believe that acknowledging the situation is entertaining fearful thoughts. Maintaining positive thoughts will bring positive results. That is true but only if we combine it with doing our own internal work of transforming fear to love.

Suppression of fear (and we all have a measure of it these days as we realize how out of control the global economic situation might be) is not helpful
for our emotional health. Some seem to think that if you allow fear as an emotion, then you will generate more fear. But what we resist does persist. Allowing the emotion to be, allows it to be transformed. The fear moves into acceptance. An empowerment comes into being that moves us towards the intuited appropriate action to take, especially in times of crisis.

So how do we accomplish this soul work? In everyday life events the soul’s vibration shows itself to us. If the state of the economy distresses us, it is helpful to remember that what is exterior to ourselves is but a mirror of our internal process. We might ask ourselves what old patterns and habits exist in us that smack of greed, fear of abundance, elitism. When do our actions suggest that we have forgotten that we are all connected as one soul? How can we each be more generous in deed or word to ourselves and to another; how can we learn to live more in gratitude for all of life whether we agree with parts of it or not? How can we expand our hearts beyond what we know now and be more loving and accepting?

Through the mystery of our daily emotional responses or reactions to our relationships and circumstances we can observe our soul knocking on our hearts to expand in greater love. We can observe when we react in fear and instead of withdrawing from that fear; we can move forward to ask what the soul wants us to learn from this experience that we deem to be negative. By doing so, we connect with our soul in knowing how to align our assets, financial and otherwise, with our state of being as we remember who we really are. We are love and we are safe. The more we heal our fears, the more we realize who we really are.

A problem-free life is not the aspiration of the soul. We wonder why we suffer but doesn’t suffering serve a greater purpose when it focuses our attention on that which we do not want to experience? When we observe our lives we can see that our greatest growth occurs when we have stumbled and fallen. We can feel the soul vibrating in every relationship and event that we encounter in our daily lives simply because it provides the opportunity to bring us into this higher consciousness of love and connection.

This transformation that is upon all of us on Earth now is an opportunity for us to remember who we truly are. It was not created to be easy; it was created to challenge us to release old thinking and old patterns that no longer serve us. We can move through this shift into a new vibration by bringing our fears and “negative thinking” into greater awareness. We can hold the fears with compassion and lift them up to the light of love to be released. We can love ourselves for who we are and know that at our core we are the light of love.

We can learn from each other but we walk individually into the sea of universal consciousness. When we arrive we meet ourselves and we remember that we are already swimming in that pool of self-realization; we laugh with that knowing in our hearts. The enigma of the soul is continually drawing us, urging us to learn to expand beyond fear into a greater and deeper love.


Copyright 2008 by Andrea Lee Avari. Andrea is the author of “A Hit of Heaven: a soul’s journey through illusion.” She is currently finishing her second book on creating soulful relationships. She will be presenting workshops in 2009. If you would like to be included in her mailing list for upcoming events, please email her at andrea@andreaavari.com. Her website is www.andreaavari.com.

A Marriage with Soul

Andrea Lee Avari, Ph.D.

No one ever said that it would be easy except the glossy beautiful pictures with happy faces running down the aisle. Even as a young girl as I was entranced with these images of married bliss, I noticed a certain jaundiced eye of mine glazing over at the idea. Sparkling bottles of coca-cola won’t bring me exciting adventures and so many good-looking friends as the ads suggest. I knew that. But could a ceremony filled with colorful flowers and a white dress bring ecstasy to my heart and mind?

The partnership equation consists of two people. They can be of any gender, it matters not. The equation increases in complexity with the addition of the history and psychological makeup of the ancestral families and traditions. Multiply that sum by the health of the model of the each partner’s parental relationships.

Hit that multiplication button again and again for any unconscious belief systems that reflect possible abandonment, not being good enough, feeling controlled and engulfed, possible boredom from lack of growth, any and all fears of connection and surrender. Then you multiply the equation by the number of unhealed wounds of both parties.

Use the exponential function key if there are addictions, patriarchy, and codependency issues sitting as a third party to the relationship. Now subtract the individual levels of self-awareness and insight into one’s process. Divide by any truly effective books or workshops on communication skills which emphasize listening, patience, and self responsibility. Divide again by any chosen factor from 1-10 for the highest level of motivation to figure out what the heck is going on at times.

Hit the = button and stand back. What does this answer mean? You have no idea. Excellent, you are on the path. Now take that numerical answer and factor in the concept of a soul, uniquely differentiated for each personality of the marriage. Hit the = button again and the word….MYSTERY ………..appears. Now what does that word mean? We all want a definitive answer for our relationships….do we not?

Acknowledging the presence of the soul of each partner changes the perspective of a relationship. What is the soul? Perhaps we can consider it to be that essence of all that we know in our hearts to be good and true. And that essence wants us to grow. The soul wants us to grow in ways we do not even understand. And we marry to explore some of the deepest lessons of our lives.

The soul is not interested in an ideal and perfect marriage. The shadows of confusion, doubt, anxiety are among the places that the soul wants us to explore. It doesn’t want to know if we are a “picture perfect” piece of a societal cutout; it wants us to grow in the dark places where we normally choose not to tread. And given our “druthers”, most of us would really rather not tiptoe into those dark corners of ourselves. Increasing our self-knowledge usually meets with resistance. Even those of us who seem to delight in self-discovery can be deluded into accepting surface reasons for our intentions.
We have been taught that in order to be “successful” in marriage there should be no rumples or wrinkles. But a soulful marriage is not interested in the polarities of good and bad, smooth as silk or confusing as buttermilk. The soul is not interested in labeling and categorizing. If we stay out of trying to fix the problem, find the solution, quickly make it better, perhaps we can observe what the soul might be asking of us.

By moving our point of perception into the larger picture of a marriage with soul, we are allowing the soul to show us the way. It is as Heraclitus said, “The soul is its own source of unfolding.” The soul, that highest vibration of our humanness, wants what is best for our highest good. Much of that “stuffness” of life may be in various states of unconsciousness within us. Our challenge is to observe the soul’s unfolding.

When we are able to hold that state of unattached seeing, we are more likely to peer more deeply into what is the soul is asking us when we feel doubt, anxiety, confusion, a sense of separateness in our partnership. Our human tendency is to berate ourselves with a “why?” can’t I get this right; what is wrong with me? Zooming out of our egoic self we are able to see the potential of a wide-open horizon of unlimited growth when we stand aside.

Releasing the need for perfection of ourselves and our partner, learning that our soul is teaching us important lessons about a deeper knowledge of our inner life and standing back in observation rather than running for a quick fix to an assumed problem, we are beginning to learn to live in tandem with our soul in relationship. As we deepen our practice a natural appreciation for our partner’s soul becomes evident. This state of consciousness invites the divine to dance with us in our marriage.


Copyright 2008. Andrea Avari is the author of "A Hit of Heaven: a soul's journey through illusion." She is currently writing a sequel to that book on creating relationships with soul.

How do you manifest your creative vision?

Are you having one of those days when you feel like you are spinning your wheels? Maybe you have a lot of ideas floating through your head but somehow they don't manifest into actual substance. Here is an interesting exercise in strengthening your intention to create your purpose that is summarized from an article by Robert Gass in Utne magazine, Jan-Feb 2006.

1. Write a short statement that is presented in the positive nature of what describes your personal vision, what is important to you, what you truly want for yourself. Practice makes it better when working with refining the statement. The words need to drop from your head into your heart so that you can feel the resonance. Of the few choices Gass suggested, I chose "In everthing I do, I am guided by love." That is the vision I want to live.

2. This second statement required patience and practice as I tend to rush into things and forget to center. After taking several deep, relaxing breaths, say your phrase quietly or out-loud at least three times. Take a few moments and really feel this relaxing energy moving through your body. Slow your roll and just allow the energy to vibrate through all your cells. Gass says to "remember what is most important to you, why you do what you do." Just stay with that reflection as the words settle into you.

3. Now you are ready to translate the feeling of your vision and deeper purpose into a specific action you want to take. Perhaps you are considering a significant communication with a face-to-face meeting with another or others, an important phone call, a writing that you considerable valuable to your process. Taking the action step consciously. Your relaxed body and focused heart and mind are accompanying you in moving forward.

4. Gass suggests journaling daily about how this practice is affecting how you experience your day. Thoughts and feelings which might lurk beneath the surface of consciousness, may appear on your page of writing and assist you in growing from the daily practice.

5. As with any practice, we tend to fall asleep at times. Gass reiterates the importance of not criticizing yourself or allowing analysis of your lack of focus to become a distraction. Acknowledge and release. Surround yourself with compassion and return to your practice with a relaxed breath and a re-envisioning of what is most important to your purpose.

This process can be a simple loving practice and gift to ourselves in the present moment that empowers us to live our creative purpose at a deeper level.

Can There Be More to Being Present?

These days the focus in many spiritual teachings is to be present in the now, bringing yourself into the present, living in the present. In this way we are encouraged to realize the consciousness of Oneness, consciousness becoming aware of itself.

We are asked to remember who we really are when we have a feeling of separateness or as some have called it, an out of body experience. We are told that many of us spend most of our day out of our bodies living in the past, living in the future rarely grounded in our bodies and fully conscious of what we are doing and where we are.

Awareness of our surroundings would include using all of our senses, our thoughts quiet, allowing us to be what we are doing rather than feeling separated from it as an act of behavior. If we pay attention by observing our daily process, we can see the numerous opportunities available to us to travel in time, living in places other than the Now.

But what if that is only part of the picture? What if there is a cart before that “present moment” horse? What if the mind has to fall into the heart into order to be present? And what if that heart is constricted by the limitations of living in the past or the future? If one looks to the concept of dimensions of consciousness, we are now healing the fourth layer of vibration, that of heart integration, before we move into the 5th dimension of soul consciousness.

What if the energy of fear covers our heart like heavy overcoats in winter? We keep trying to “be present” in our layers of long underwear of past and future fears. We try our best to do what we have been told……calling ourselves back out of the past and remembering the essence of who we really are. But we can only be partially present unless we are working at the same time to heal and integrate the fears of our heart that fell from our minds. No one can heal them but ourselves. It is our choice.

The sense of realized consciousness has to be felt not with our thinking minds but with our loving heart. Simply working to be alert to the present moment is not enough. When an isolated part of the wounded heart gets our attention (and it definitely will as we live in relationship with one another), then we know we have work to do. We can feel it throughout our body……an upset stomach, a stiff neck, etc.

The heart wants to be whole and resonate with the healing energy that is the glue of the universe. It will continually tap on our consciousness, asking to be let in, nurtured and to come Home. All it asks is for our embrace rather than ignoring it or trying to cover it up with some distraction or another.

It takes a lot of energy to walk around bundled up in piles of constricted clothing that we don’t need anymore. In this state of consciousness we are less likely to give voice to that which needs to be spoken. We tend to give our power away (remembering that no one can take it; our power is ours to give if we choose). It is hard on the heart.

What if our present moment work is simply to be the process of acknowledging that fear that triggers an emotional and bodily reaction of anxiety and pain? What happens if we practice showering it with compassion and love, embracing it with acceptance?

With each gathering in of a fearful part of our heart, the ability to be more fully in the present moment increases because another heavy overcoat of the heart is dissolved into light. It doesn’t matter whether it is a feeling of being not good enough or a fear of abandonment, or any other fear. Love is the ultimate medicine that heals all.

We watch in amazement at how quickly the transformation occurs; how quickly love dissolves the fear into the whole. The heavy overcoats fly off into the ethers. The heart then takes a deep breath and expands with a renewed passion for living and loving. Our senses are revitalized. We can feel more where we are and what we are doing, whatever it may be. We know who we are because our heart is resonating with our own Being.

A healing integrated heart leads us into the present moment. Empowerment becomes us. Our voice is freed to speak our truth. Our power center is active and open and balanced. Our intuition flowers with guidance and connection. Attempting to be present in the Now without doing our heart work can keep us knocking at what we think is the door of self-realization. Our integrated heart is the doorway.


Copyright 2008. Andrea is the author of “A Hit of Heaven: a soul’s journey through illusion.” She is currently busy writing her next book on creating soulful relationships which will be published early 2009. Her website is andreaavari.com.

A Spiritual Level of Conversation: Between Higher Selves

Andrea Lee Avari, Ph.D.


Most of us have never had any lessons to assist us in sharing with another person how we feel about something in a respectful way and how to ask for what we need. And most of us are just skating by on the time-tested skills of our parents and their parents who most likely had less opportunity for skill-building than we have had in our lives. We may have passed algebra (or not) but most educational organizations never taught us the art of effective communication. We try to get by on whatever communication skills we have picked up along the way.

Even if we have had exposure to proper training in communication skills, how many of us become blank slates of knee-jerk reaction when conflict comes into our lives?

Effective communication skills point us toward:
· Observing as a witness (not a judge) as to what we heard the other person say or what we saw them do
· Stating how we feel when we observe the behavior (a feeling word not a dissertation)
· Asking specifically for what we need without being attached to the outcome.

We know from practice, practice and more practice that this method does connect disparate points of view in many circumstances…..if we remember to respond from a sense of centering rather than to react. But then real life steps in and sometimes we fall down. It may be a challenge for all concerned but the personal growth in learning to take responsibility for one’s observation, feelings, and needs is well worth the work.

Are there other tools that would help us to connect with the energy of the other person in times of conflict? If we are to visualize the other person’s Higher Self or essence of the Soul during the exchange, we can come into a special connection with the true sense of that person. And in doing so, we join more deeply with our own Higher Self.

In conversation we can see each personality working the needs of the ego and masking the luminescence of the inner Self. But if we look with a softer eye we can see the protection that surrounds each heart in hopes of shielding it from being wounded. With this new awareness we honor the truth of one another with compassion. At our essence we are all the same; we are costumed in different wrappings but we all want the same thing: love.

What can we do? We can focus our awareness on our own light, breathing it in and out, expanding our inner beauty to radiate all around us. We strengthen our connection with our own Higher Self by focusing our attention on that which is our essence.

We can visualize the other person’s Higher Self as a similar beautiful light, a blossoming flower, a vibrant color, or an energetic feeling of knowing. We ask our Higher Self to assist us in speaking words that enhance connection with the other person. (Although intuitively we know that there is no other one. We are speaking to ourselves.)

We ask our Higher Self to speak to the other’s Higher Self in acknowledgement of our true intention, that of compassion and understanding between us. Our intention focuses on working together for the highest good of us all. We visualize ourselves emanating a beautiful energy of light and ask our Higher Self to facilitate sending this light and the high vibration of love to the other’s Higher Self.

We do so without attachment; if the other chooses to accept our transmission of energy and meet us in the middle ground so much the better for both. If not, we have taken responsibility for our intention to be in connection with the truth of who we are. We continue to shine our radiating light and move on.

In times of conflict and anxiety coupled with this increasing rate of vibration in our world, it helps to remember that there are ways of communicating with people that are nonverbal and telepathic. In times of email, twittering, and blogs we can get lost in our pursuit of the art of true, direct communication: soul to soul.

The next time you find yourself in a conflicted conversation, consider asking your Higher Self to assist you in connecting with the other person on an energetic level. The results may surprise you.

Copyright 2008. Andrea Avari, Ph.D. is an intuitive spiritual coach working with clients to balance and integrate wellness, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. She is the author of “A Hit of Heaven: a soul’s journey through illusion.” Her next book, “Letters from a Lunatic in Love: creating soulful relationships” will be available at the end of the year. Her website is andreaavari.com. Email address is andrea@andreaavari.com.

Look in the Mirror: Your Teacher Awaits You

It is time to stop looking for others to guide us to inner peace. It is time to look in the mirror and see our teacher. It is us; it has always been us.

We have been looking for signposts to guide our way and somehow we tend to get caught up in another’s story and their interpretations. The bookcases full of books we all have may have been helpful and uplifting in some cases but after awhile we realize in different ways and in different words, they all say the same thing: inner peace is within us.

There are self-proclaimed gurus and spiritual teachers everywhere and a new product to buy to help us find enlightenment at every turn. They all hold the hope that we can make it; we can get where “they” are. There is no ‘where’. We are the ones we are seeking.

It sounds so simple as we put down the books and discuss it with our friends, but then life happens and we are challenged to respond in non-attachment and allowance rather than falling back into the same old thinking and reacting patterns of lower vibrations. How do we actually create and sustain the process within ourselves?

Look in the mirror. There is the person who knows, who contains the essence of inner knowing and always has. This person knows by an inner resonance. There is a felt sense of knowing what is true in the heart and the body. When this person is quiet and calm, the inner voice can be heard whispering the way. This person is each one of us.

A life has been lived by each of us and continues to evolve from fear to love if we make a higher vibrational choice in every moment. Our entire life is a meditation. Each one of our lives is continually pointing to that which yearns to be gathered into love. Sometimes we are embarrassed by choices we have made in our lives but these points of shame are the very points of healing for us, if we are willing to hold them in the transforming light of acceptance.

Sometimes we may feel victimized by relationships or events in our lives. In order to be a victim there must be a persecutor for us to blame for our troubles. And then we hope for a rescuer to ease our pain. That ‘saving grace’ may come in the soothing form of another person, approval, chocolate, sex, TV, drinking, something to smoke, shopping, anything that suppresses the painful feelings for a while.

If we can see the distressing event as a gift for our growth, a doorway of opportunity to learn how to love ourselves more deeply, then we create our own process of healing. We can learn to observe the distress within a state of mindfulness, bringing our full attention to it. We learn to hold the circumstance with compassionate awareness as it dissolves. By allowing the highest vibration of compassion, we transmute the fearful thoughts into light. We take responsibility for our lives rather than turning our attention outward to temporary external solutions.

The life that has been living in fear keeps knocking on the door of healing which is our heart. Our stories contain every bit of wisdom we need. And then we realize that we are not our stories. We remember that the earth is a classroom for our learning. Our own particular stories were created by our souls to help us transform the places of fear into places of awareness and acceptance. And in that way our human opaqueness becomes translucent and luminous and the world becomes brighter because of each individual process of courage to open to what is.

It is our job to hold those points of blocked light in an embrace of compassionate awareness. We know those areas of resistance better than anyone else. The old proverb says when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. So often we thought it meant someone else was coming to help us find the way. We are the way.

The signposts on our path are the circumstances and relationships in our life. We become our own best friend who will never leave us as we continue to act out of that place of self-compassion. We are not our life stories. Our lives are not something that happens to us or is done to us. Our lives are our most profoundly creative meditation.

Copyright 2008